The Apple (1980) Review

The Apple (1980)
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Since a handful of well-attended screenings have popped up in L.A., Boston, Austin, Seattle and San Francisco in the past two years, this movie has been coveted by all who enjoy a good bad movie. So coveted that bootlegs of questionable quality have been gobbled up on eBay. But now it's here, a bright, shiny print on DVD! This movie can't be missed. Its horrible acting, flimsy plot, unrelentingly bad music and lyrics, cheeseball costumes and, best of all, its earnestness, put it at the top of my list of camp demanding repeat viewings. It's also camp deserving of a wider audience. If you can't laugh at a man walking around in an Amazing Stories robe and silver G-string while antagonizing a wide-eyed music industry protege, what can you laugh at? If you can't appreciate a full-scale underworld scene (with music reminiscent of the worst of "Rocky Horror") in which one guy is wearing a mask with an extra face on it, what's wrong with you? These are just some of the subtle qualities that make this movie so great. Others: An evil overlord/music executive whose offices appear to be in the Kansas City airport. A guy with perpetual cameltoe. A cross between jazz hands and spirit fingers that passes for choreography. A surgical team interrupted by a mandatory exercise period in which the patient even gets a workout. A baffling scene in which a hippie commune gets sucked into the heavens by a white tux-clad guy named Mr. Topps. It's just jaw-droppingly awful ... but a lot of fun.

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